Archive for the ‘ Mental/Stress ’ Category

Healthy Guilt, Unhealthy Guilt

Sunday, January 24th, 2010

Guilt is the feeling that results when you tell yourself that you have done something wrong.

HEALTHY GUILT

Healthy guilt is the feeling that occurs when you have actually done something wrong – such as deliberately harming someone. This is an important feeling, which results from having developed a conscience – a loving adult self who is concerned with your highest good and the highest good of all. People who never developed a conscience and feel no guilt or remorse over harming others are called sociopaths. These people have no loving adult self and can wreck havoc – stealing, raping, killing – without ever feeling badly about it.

Healthy guilt results in taking responsibility for our choices and being accountable for our actions. When we have not behaved in a way that is in our highest good and the highest good of all, our loving adult self will feel remorse and take over, doing whatever we have to do to remedy the situation.

UNHEALTHY GUILT

Unhealthy guilt results from telling yourself that you have done something wrong when you haven’t actually done something wrong. For example, if you decide to do something for yourself with no intent to harm anyone, and someone gets upset with you for doing what you want instead of doing what he or she wants, what do you tell yourself? Here are some of the inner statements that can lead to unhealthy guilt:

“It’s my fault that he is feeling angry.”

“I should have done what she wanted instead of what I wanted. I have caused her to feel hurt.”

“I’m being selfish in doing what I want to do.”

“It’s my duty to put myself aside and do what others want me to do.”

“If he gets angry with me, then I must have done something wrong.”

“If she is hurt, then I must have done something wrong.”

Many of us have been trained to believe that we are responsible for others’ feelings, so that when others are angry or hurt, it is our fault. But unless you deliberately intended to harm someone, his or her feelings are not your responsibility. Others get hurt when they take your behavior personally, and they get angry when they make you responsible for their feelings. But this does not mean that you are responsible for their feelings.

You are responsible for your own intent. When you intend to harm someone, then you are responsible for the results of that. But when you just want to take care of yourself with no intent to harm anyone – such as want some time alone when your partner wants to spend time with you – then you are not responsible for your partner’s upset.

Unhealthy guilt comes from telling yourself a lie. When the wounded, programmed critical part of you takes over and tells you that doing what you want with no intent to harm anyone is wrong, that is when you will feel unhealthy guilt. This critical part of you wants to control how others feel about you, and so tells you the lie that you are responsible for others’ feelings.

Unhealthy guilt also arises when someone blames you for his or her feelings and you take on the blame. Many people have learned to blame others for their feelings rather than take responsible for their own feelings. When you accept this blame, it is because you want to believe that you can control others’ feelings. You will feel unhealthy guilt when you accept blame for others’ feelings.

Healthy guilt is an important feeling and leads to positive action, but unhealthy guilt is a waste of energy.

Unhealthy Emotions Associated with Being Dumped

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

Being dumped can be a traumatic experience for anyone. Relationships are complex and difficult at times. While some people who are dumped seem to find a way to move on without much damage, most people who are dumped have serious emotional issues. Some of the negative reactions to the difficult emotions that come out of the break up can seriously affect the way a person functions and the person’s ability to function in life. Finding a positive way to deal with these difficult and possibly harmful negative reactions to these feelings can help you deal with being dumped and move on with your life. Just a few of the emotions you may encounter are hatred, embarrassment and sadness.

Hatred is a common feeling to have after being dumped. The common question is, “Why Me?” You may experience hatred toward a person that has dumped you, mutual friends that disassociate with you after the break up, and anyone who may subsequently date your ex after you break up. Dealing with hatred in a positive way is very important because this emotion has a very bad habit of being a festering emotion. If you have hatred inside, you may even be physically affected. Hatred is an awful emotion that can have severe effects. If you are consumed by this negative emotion, it is hard to live your life, move on from a broken relationship, and even go about day to day responsibilities normally.

Another emotion you may experience is embarrassment. A lot of times, embarrassment stems from self-esteem issues, as well as feeling like everyone around is laughing at you. After you have been dumped, the best way to move past feeling embarrassed is to know that you are a worthwhile person and that you are not the only person who has been dumped. Lift your head and know that you have great qualities that someone else will admire later on in a different relationship, and simply work on getting to know yourself and being the person you want to be. Anyone who would laugh at you after such a painful experience is not worth even wasting time to think about.

One more emotion you may experience in the case of being dumped is sadness. This one will only heal after time. There is almost always regret when you are broken up with and the only cure for this emotion is taking time to let yourself heal. Indulge in some self-pity, but not for long. Get pampered, spend a little money on yourself, and try to remember that you are a worthy human being. Sadness will pass and you will be able to move on with your life in a positive manner. If you allow yourself to get wrapped up in sadness, you can get into a funk that is very difficult to get out of. Simply waking up and getting on with your regular routine can help you take one day at a time to your recovery.

No matter what seemingly negative emotions you experience after being dumped, and there are a variety of many of them, the way to move past them is to react to them in the most positive way you can. This is a key to moving on with your life and living a successful and happy life.

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Treat Depression and Live Healthy

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Depression also called as “The Common Cold of Mental Health” is a mental health disorder that affects your body, mood, and thoughts. It even affects your everyday routine like the way you eat, the way you sleep, the way you think, and the way you feel about yourself. The people who’s suffering from depression may experience difficulty with their short term memory. Negative thoughts and thinking also occurs in their mind. They always feel that they are sad and hopeless and the results of these are poor self esteem, excessive guilt and self-criticism. When they reached their serious depression, they have self-destructive thoughts. For some people, because of the negative emotions being experienced, they lack motivation and concentration they no longer enjoy activities that they once found pleasant experienced.

Some types of depression run in families, indicating that a biological vulnerability to depression can be inherited. This seems to be the case especially with bipolar disorder. Studies have been done of families in which members of each generation develop bipolar disorder. The investigators found that those with the illness have a somewhat different genetic makeup than those who do not become ill. However, the reverse is not true. That is, not everybody with the genetic makeup that causes vulnerability to bipolar disorder has the illness. Apparently, additional factors, possibly a stressful environment, are involved in its onset.

Psychotherapy can help treat depression. A significant number (50 percent) of patients with mild to moderate forms of depression obtain substantial symptom relief with psychotherapy. Many patients begin to feel the effects of psychotherapy in the first few weeks. Full remission rather than improvement is the objective of treatment. If there is no symptom improvement at all within 6 weeks, the choice of treatment modality should be reevaluated. For patients who improve but who are still symptomatic after 12 weeks, treatment with medication is a strong consideration.

Maintenance Antidepressant medication is the most commonly known treatment strategy for mental health disorders. How do they work? It depends on the type of antidepressant. Basically, depression medicines alter brain chemistry by effecting neurotransmitters, the brain’s chemical substances which are responsible for various functions within the body. Anti-depressants are also used to treat other psychiatric and medical conditions. To obtain medications for depression, you need a prescription from a doctor, which can be filled at a pharmacy. A common mistake is stopping antidepressant medications without talking to your doctor first. Many people stop because of side effects and never talk to their doctor about other options. Now there are many different types of medicine for depression. Sometimes it may take several tries to find the right anti depression medication for you. The best antidepressant will be prescribed based on many factors such as the symptoms you’re experiencing, other medicines you’re taking, other medical conditions you have and the antidepressant’s potential side effects.